Rest

First hole, playing golf and wanting to speed the pace of play, I turn and run up a steep hill toward the cart. There is a tension, a pop, a loosening and pain in the bottom of my right foot. The rest of the round, I push through. The foot protests more and more with progression through the holes. After sitting in the car for the ride home, the pain escalates such that I can’t stand.

I hate being immobile.

I sit on the couch, catered to and carried about, and I hate it.

By the third day, I can limp and I attempt abbreviated yoga.

I still hate it.

The funny thing is, that it feels good to my body to have a rest. Exercise is a thing I do like brushing my teeth. It is a given, a non-negotiable activity. My body appreciates the negotiation, the chance for some downtime.

In the immobilized downtime on the couch, I realize the parallel that the pandemic has brought a similar rest for those who are not sick or suffering. It is a forced physical rest for me and maybe others.

As a therapist, I often say that I am actually just a sheepherder. When people are struggling, it is often because their thoughts, emotions or situation have skewed them to one side of a human issue. For example, a person who refuses to eat for fear of becoming overweight is on the opposite side of a continuum from someone who overeats for fear of starvation. Unfortunately, there are problems for both parties, problems at both ends of the continuum. Interestingly, fear of one idea often pushes people to behave in the opposite way. Health typically lies somewhere in the middle.  Awareness of the need to eat to live and the need to eat healthfully for bodies to function is likely a possible middle ground for the example.

I am a person who wants to exercise and go. For so many reasons, I’d rather move than sit. Given my personal propensity for moving too much, the pandemic and my foot injury served the role of forcing me to be physically still. I have been pushed to the middle, sheepherding of the sheepherder. The benefits have been substantial. For the first time in a long time, I can rest.